The earliest years of my life were idyllic, growing up in a home filled with 5 girls, 1 boy, my parents, my aunt and our grandmother. I was too young to have absorbed the trauma and loss of fleeing Cuba. For me, living in a cozy, crowded home with 1 bathroom and lots of noise was normal and a lot of fun. I always had someone to play with, although I would sometimes be told to go ask another sibling or cousin for “un medio de tente alla”. I never did receive the expected nickel!
I remember one of my favorite games, pantano (swamp), where we would all jump up and down and across from one set of bunk beds to the other set, without touching the floor. I was too small to jump safely across, but delighted that I was the only one able to climb to the upper bunk by squeezing along the window. As the youngest, I learned that I had to eat quickly if I wanted more than one French fry from the bag that all 6 of us kids would share at Burger King (a special treat and favorite outing).
I also remember the great sadness I felt when 3 of my “sisters” – my cousins Ele, Ili, and Maria – moved to Maryland with my aunt. The house was so quiet and felt so empty without them.
Throughout the years, every time we have visited each other or vacationed together, I have experienced that same early joy of spending time with family where everyone is known and loved. Our visits are filled with laughter and joy, as our own individual families have expanded in size.
When I think of Ili, I remember most her gentle smile and kindness. Looking back at early photos, I noticed Ili reaching out to hold my hand on my birthday.
I remember her confident determination that no problem was insurmountable. There was always a way, as evidenced on a visit to Ili and Dan’s home in Alpine Lake. Our toddler son was in desperate need of a nap which he staunchly refused. Ili confidently proclaimed, “I can get him to sleep,” as she sent Frank and me for a walk, and started telling Ben a story. Sure enough, when we returned, Ben was fast asleep on the sofa.
All three of us already miss her smile, her gentle presence, her confident determination, and her love.
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